Thursday, April 22, 2010

Nothing to say

yep, you read it right, I really have nothing to say. *gasp*! for those of you who know me, you know that that doesn't happen very often! So I guess I'll just jot down whatever comes to mind... I know, that can be dangerous!

*~ Ok, lately I have been wishing for more babies > Handsome Hubby thinks I'm crazy! I go thru my moments when I wish I hadn't gotten my "tubes tied". I really am happy with my Brat Pack. And I love being able to go places and do things without the whole tribe following me around like little ducklings. But there are days that I think, "I wonder what it would be like if we hadn't decided to stop having kids?" well, for one, we would probably have at least 12 children by now. can you imagine? 30 yrs old and 12 kids??? 2. we would be packed into our little house like sardines in a can. I know, God would have provided. But I imagine we would still be packed into our tiny little house.... 3. I doubt we would have been able to travel with Handsome Hubby like we have for the last 3 years. and I wouldn't trade that for anything!

Then I have to remind myself ~ I really am enjoying the BP getting older! Handsome Hubby and I are finally able to do things just the 2 of us. We are looking forward to being young and haveing an empty nest. We never had any time, just the 2 of us, when we first got married, Beans was born 2 months after we were married. We dream of being able to travel and enjoy things without worrying about the cost of things. That sounds awful doesn't it? Let me explain...

When you go to an amusement park, or stay at a hotel, or even just go out to McDonalds... think how much $ that would cost for a family of 7. With 2 teenagers! Its not cheap! Very rarely are we able to squish into one hotel room (without lying to the front desk). It costs over $30 to go thru McDonalds. We have never been to an amusement park because it would cost over $100 and thats NOT including food or extras. Don't get me wrong, we have been able to do alot of things with our BP. I always pack lunches and we bring our own water bottles that we fill at drinking fountains and gas stations. Even if its a trip to town that I know is going to run over a meal time, I pack a lunch and water bottles! Sometimes you can find 1/2 price coupons, or you can find places that kids eat free or places that kids get in free on certain dates. We love places like that!
~ yikes, all of that, just because I have been wishing for more babies?! ~

*~ I LOVE SUMMER! Yep, I have been thinking about that alot lately :) I am thinking that we are crazy for living up here in the winter. I never realize how much the sun and weather affect me until it finally gets nice out and I see the sunshine for 7 days (in a row!!), I start feeling this cloud of gloom lifting from my shoulders, I find myself smiling more and more. I start looking at things positively. The house is cleaner( because I feel like cleaning it!), and smells fresher with the windows open. Its easier to keep up on the laundry ( you can fit alot more shorts and tank tops into one load than jeans and sweatshirts!). I don't hear the furnace kickin' in and makin sucha racket, especially now, since it went kapoot 2 weeks ago. (*sidenote* for those of you who don't know me, I am very noise sensitive. I can't sleep with the furnace running, its loud!, I can't fall asleep when the fridge runs, I have to have every light off in the house to fall asleep. We don't have any night lights in the house. I know, I'm weird.) Yep, I'm a summer girl :) My dream would be to live down south where its summer all year long :)

*~ I find encouragment in the littlest things lately. Mrs Pastor called yesterday wondering if we would like anything put on the updated prayer list. My answer, "WORK!" you see, Handsome Hubby works construction, and as we all know, construction is not a good business to be in right now. He is a site superintendant. For commercial building, hotels to be exact. But with the economy the way it is, people just aren't building hotels, and banks aren't lending for poeple to build hotels. So work has been a hard thing to come by. And if you have been following my blog for very long, you know that I have struggled with being here. I would love to be back on the road. I have a nomad's heart. My perfect life would be travelling from one job to the next. 12 months in any given location, then moving on. Ok, anyway, back to Mrs Pastor calling... I updated her on where we are sitting for work right now. We are still praying for a hotel to come up, but we have finally given it ALL to Him. I would love to be on the road, but am content being here, that's where God has us right now, and I will be HERE, totally here. Her answer? " Now that you are content with being here, He'll answer your prayer. You had to give him everything and be content with where He has you at this moment." So I am still going to be praying for the "impossible" ( the world would look at the possibility of a hotel as impossible), that a hotel will come up for Handsome Hubby soon, and I will be content to be here. Right where God wants me.

*~ Handsome Hubby has been working construction for exactly 3 days and I LOVE IT!! God has provided in the most amazing ways, and I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father who loves and cares for His own. Handsome Hubby is not building hotels (which is what he loves to do), but he is working hard and has a purpose to get up and get going every morning! After having him home all winter, (and the last month and a half he's been working nights, so our days have been messed up), it is nice to have him working days again. All day, Monday - Friday. It feels like life is getting back to normal. Well at least until next week when I start working! Then it will be another big adjustment for all of us!

hmmm, I guess I had more to say than I thought... For for those of you who know me, know that this is truly who I am :) Always something to say.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Better Mood :)

I am happy to report, I am in a much better mood this morning! Had a long talk with my Lord last night, got some things right with Him, asked Him for some help in a few areas. Yep, went to sleep so nice last night. Got up right away this morning, got right back into His Word, talked with Him some more, asked Him for help with an attitude adjustment, and here I am. In A Much Better Mood :) I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father that is there for me in everything in my life!!!

Last night I was looking for a verse to memorize as I fell asleep. On the front of the church bulletin is the verse, Matthew 5:24. Boy did that kick me in the pants :/ Then I was convicted of my attitude towards "said friend" in yesterdays post... so guess what? yep, "said friend" will be receiving a little apology note from me this week. Not to say that our friendship can ever go back to what I thought it was to begin with. But I do need to get rid of this weight around my neck, I need to ask for forgivness and throw away this bitterness. God has used "said friend" in my life to show me that I was putting too much value on an earthly friendship, I must go to HIM with everything, unload on Him, my first thought when I find myself lonely, or frustrated must be to run to Him, not the phone to call said friend. My second instinct should be to go my Handsome Hubby, not a "said friend". I am praying for the right words to express myself in my apology. Heaven knows I don't want to dig myself into a deeper hole!!!

I considered deleting yesterdays post in its entirety. But decided against it. It's who I am, my struggles, my feelings, my sinful attitude. I can use it as a reminder of what I need to work on. And I hope it can help someone else maybe who is going thru similar feelings and situations. So it stays. In all its ugly glory :/ And I will go back and read it someday and be glad that I posted it, if for no other reason, to remind me of what I DON'T want to go back to.

Friday, April 16, 2010

~ Never Blog When In A Bad Mood ~

Aren't you proud of me? Twice in one week for me is a huge deal ;) Anyway, I probably shouldn't be blogging, its never a good thing to blog when you're in a really bad mood. I shouldn't say "really bad", its not that bad, just feel kinda' off. You know what I mean? And I really have no reason to feel "off" either. Just one of those days I guess? And I know that that is just a really dumb excuse to be crabby. We are supposed to have the joy of the Lord everyday, all day, no matter what. So having "one of those days" is really not a good excuse. I don't think there really is ever a good excuse to be crabby. ~ Wow, what a crazy run on paragraph was that?!? I really am not as crazy as I sound! ~

Nothing much going on here. I am excited to start working in a couple weeks. It's only temp work. Census work. And I know some people are all discusted about the whole census thing and think that the goverment is just throwing money out the window. And I have to say, I kinda' agree, but on the flip side, if they are going to pay someone to do this work, I will gladly work! Beggers can't be choosers, and right now I haven't had any responses to the dozens and dozens of applications I have filled out! So having said that, "Bring on the census work!!!" And I am kinda excited about being outside and getting alot of walking in. And getting paid to do it!

We spent yesterday at the cabin getting posts in the ground so we can build a deck on it tomorrow. The BP has grand plans of spending lots and lots of time at the cabin with grandpa and grandma this summer. And to be quiet honest I do too!!! I can't wait to spend weekends out there with the whole family! :) I hope mom and dad don't get sick of us! Oh,~ mom, (cuz I know you read this ;) I will make sure and bring plenty of food and snacks and drinks for the BP and for us! I have been stocking up on crackers, snacks, bottled water and juices, and plenty of fixings for cookies and bars, ect :) ~

Have you ever had a friend in your life, someone you always viewed as a close friend, but then you hear things from others, people whom you didn't realize even really knew said friend? They ask you things, make comments about said friend, nothing bad, just things that you would think that, being such close friends and all, that you would have prior knowledge of? Then you feel like a total idiot because you have no clue what these people are talking about? Then you feel like a total idiot because you realize that you really weren't close friends to begin with? Then you start to wonder how patheic you really were? You think back to all the things that you did for said friend, how you were always there to listen to her vent and unload on you? How you were always there when she needed something? How you where there to watch her kids at the last minute whenever she called? You think back to all the times you tried to call her because you just needed someone to talk to, but she wouldn't answer her phone? You remember how you had opened your home to her and her family and yet you hadn't stepped foot in her home for 2 years? How pathetic is that? At some point you realize that friends are over-rated. I guess it just takes some of us more time to figure that out :P Then you feel like an IDIOT!! Word to the wise, don't put too much feeling into friendships that aren't real.

~ wow, see why I should never blog when I'm in a bad mood?!?
I'm off, hoping tomorrow will find me in a much better mood! I'm sure Handsome Hubby and the BP are hoping so too ;)

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Too Long

Wow, ok, I know I said I was going to try to be better about posting... I guess I have just shown that I cannot be trusted to follow thru :P To be quiet honest, there has been many nights that I have thought about what I SHOULD be blogging about, what I COULD be blogging about. But that's as far as it has gotten. Just a thought in my mind, never made it to my fingertips on the keyboard.

Anyway, here we go. An update from the Anderson's!

We now have an 8 yr old in the house! Baby Sister turned 8 last month! She is such a joy to have in our lives. Our own little tornado that twirls and cartwheels and spins thru our lives! Last week she came upstairs wearing Little Brother's clothes and shoes with her hair tucked up into one of his caps! I had to do a double-take! She has been wearing his clothes all week now and everytime she comes in I have to make sure it isn't Little Brother that I am talking to. I remember those days. When I thought all my brothers and boy cousins had it so much better than I did and I wanted to be just like them. Yep, I dressed in boy clothes and would tuck my hair into a cap and ride their bikes and try to be all tough just like them. But then I got over it! I realized that being the only girl was a pretty cool thing. Baby Sister will never be the only girl, but she'll realize that being a girl is a pretty cool thing, and she'll want to wear her pink dresses and shoes again. Come on, boys just can't accessorize like girls! And Baby Sister loves to accessorize ;)

Little Brother turns 10 tomorrow ~ I can't believe all my babies are getting so big so fast! I don't even know what I am going to get him for his bday yet. You see, I have a hard time getting my BP something just to "get them something" . I would rather wait and give them something that they could use, or something that means something to them. I guess that's my excuse for not getting him anything yet.

One blessing that I want to tell you all about ~ last night Beans and I went to the library for a "meet the author" thing. The author was giving pointers on how to publish a book. The nuts and bolts of writing an all the depressing facts of getting your book published. Like the fact that out of every book of hers that is sold she only makes .60 !!! That is CRAZY!!! That's all of her time and effort and her WORDS on that paper and she only gets .60!!! Of course, the top 10 authors make more than that, but honestly, who dreams of being as great as Stephen King, Jodi Piccoult? They are in a class all of their own. Well, it was great info for Beans as she has been playing around with a novel for the last year but has never really gotten around to formatting it. So now maybe she can get working on it this summer and hopefully finish it :) And I found out that I can do a Vanity Publishing of my short stories. I don't want to sell my stories, just get them published in a book form for the BP when they get older. And have stories to tell my grandchildren. And they would actually see pics and read the words and they could pass those stories down to their children. What an amazing family heirloom I could create.

Well, anyway, onto the blessing.... we walked into the library and our favorite librarian exclaimed, "You homeschool!!!" uh, yes, we homeschool... well, here they had gotten a whole 8th grade curriculem given to them!! And I know the company that it was from. And its the entire 8th grade curriculem... math, science, geography, language arts, health, and bible!!! What a blessing that is!!! Now Beans wants to do school all summer too. She has finished the 8th grade with the curriculem that we have always used, but she wants to do this curriculem too :) I love her!

We had evangelistic meetings at church last Sunday-Wednesday night. It was great. So many decisions made. I made a few decisions of my own, and am working on them daily. We have also started to get more involved at church again. We held back for so long, praying that we would be moving on soon. But that is not what God has put in our lives at this point. It looks like we will be staying put for the time being, maybe God has been anting us to put our roots down and get involved again. We're not sure what He has planned for our future but right now we are here so we will BE here. We are still praying that something will come thru for Handsome Hubby. That he will be able to get back to doing the work that he loves. But right now I am so thankful for man who is not too proud to work wherever he can so he can provide for his family. We know that nothing is impossible for God, and so we are still praying for that phonecall telling us that a hotel has come thru and that he will be breaking ground. IF that is God's Will for us right now. So until then....

The weather is finally nice up here! Sunshine and warmth!! Baby Sister and Little Brother already are sporting some color on their cheeks and their hair is already getting blonder! I love summer :) Can't wait till we can go swimming everyday!! The BP are getting excited for camp in July. Baby Sister has one more yr at home with me,next year Beans is old enough to be a Jr Counsleor and THEN Baby Sister can go. I am just not ready to send her someplace new, with people that are new, in a bed that is new. And she sleepwalks... terrifys me that she could wander out of her cabin and no one would be listening for her!! So next year she can go when Beans is sleeping in her cabin and Beans is amazing with Baby Sister, she has awlays been the one to wake up when Baby Sister starts her wandering.

Well, we are off to the park or the afternoon :) I promised the BP a day at the park and we love going before the PS kids get out!!