Grace

Last night, as I was making supper, Mouth comes limping in the house and plops herself down on a chair. I turn around and ask her, "what did you do now?" her answer? "crashed Beans' bike". there is no tears. no wailing. "can you throw me a rag?" she asks me. I turn and get a good look at her. She has blood dripping off her arm. Her hair is a mess. She has dirt and grass all over.

Yeah. she sure did crash Beans' bike. She snapped off the one hand brake. all the paint is scratched off the front forks.

I guess she went head over heals. One man was in his apartment and saw it happen and went running down the stairs and out the door. He was positive she had to have broken something! (As far as we know she hasn't.) She got up. Brushed herself off. Got back on the bike and rode across town to get home. No tears shed. No wailing. No fussing. That's Mouth. Its the reason we really never know how badly hurt she is.

She split open her chin a few years ago. Stopped her sled on the neighbors car hitch. With her face. She had 2 girls behind her on the sled. Over 150 lbs stopped. with her face. Not a tear was shed. No wailing. No fussing. She smiled and I thought I was going to see teeth thru the hole in her face. Thankfully HH was home. He brought her in. I called ahead. The nurses were expecting a hysterical little girl. Nope. Then they figured, "aw, it can't be that bad." then Mouth smiled at them and they panicked. Yep. 3 stitches on the inside of her mouth. 10 stitches on her chin. 3 hrs later a few stitches were loosening up. Back in she went. restitched. without any pain killers. (couldn't use any more without worrying about nerve damage). Not a tear shed. no wailing. no fussing.

Last summer. She had fallen down some stairs. No tears. no wailing, no fussing. So I didn't think anything of it. 4 days later I notice that her foot is swollen. then I notice that she isn't walking quiet right. (she was very pigeon toed when she was little, and I still notice it sometimes, so I didn't really think anything of how she was walking) bring her in. they x ray her foot. 2 hairline fractures in her foot. already healing.

When she was 2 she had her hand shut in a screen door. someone pulled it shut and latched it. not knowing she was behind them. her finger was IN the door. I noticed her standing there and not moving. Her little face was very pale. her shoulders were squared off. (that's usually the only way we can tell that she is really hurting). I asked her what was wrong. "my finger hurts mommy". no tears. no fussing. no wailing. I look at her hand. her finger is in the door. blood is running down the door. I open the door. pick her up. carry her in the house and ask for a rag. she still is not crying. the ladies turn and look at her hand and FREAK out. You can see the flesh. and the bone. HH brings her in to the ER. the nurses spoil her. (how can a 2 yr old go thru that without crying at all????) she comes back with beanie babies. stickers. coloring books. candy from the snack machine... the nurses were so impressed with her that they kept giving her things. her finger is broken. and she's on meds because they were concerned that the bone could become infected. no tears. no wailing. no fussing.

When she goes to camp in the summer I am a nervous wreck. Beans works as a helper when Mouth is at camp. Beans has a fully stocked first aid kit with her and she has her cell phone to let me know if Mouth falls, or bangs herself up. The camp nurse would probably look at this girl and think, "she's not even crying, she's fine." and that might not be the case.

I cleaned out my first aid kit this morning. It needs some major restocking. I have a feeling it is going to be a long summer of scrapes and bruises.

HH says her nickname should be 'Grace'.

Gloomy + Mondays = cleaning and organizing...

Little Brother woke up this morning, and while he was searching for cereal, he decided the pantry was a "flippin' mess", so he took everything out, vacuumed it out, washed it out and put everything away nicely... and I need to remember how nice it was of him to do that without any prompting, and that he did it with such a smile on his face. and I need to remind myself of that smile when I can't find a darn thing in that cabinet next week. I will be THANKFUL for it. ;) yeah.

So I had to follow Little Brothers lead. I cleaned out the kitchen junk drawers. yes. that is plural. 2 junk drawers.

who has 2 junk drawers in their kitchen?!?!?! I do. that's who. to store my socket wrench set. and my cabinet screws. and my sheetrock screws, that go with my sheetrock handsaw.

its what I do in my spare time ya know. throw sheetrock up. cover up doorways. build new walls. yeah. that's why I need all the tools necessary to sheetrock. hhmmmm...

and my 4 utility knives (one with a carpet blade). my 20, count them, 20 screwdrivers. about 20 some batteries. do they all work? I have no clue. I also have 2 bike chains and a bike chain repair kit.

Cuz I LOVE repairing bike chains. and I have bikes in my house. why else would I have the repair kits in my house???

good grief.

HH needs a garage. I need a garage. So I can transfer all this junk out there.

I also cleaned out my junk cabinet. what? you don't have one of those? I do. Cuz I'm a lucky girl.
You know what I found in that cabinet? 10 rolls of film. that has not been developed. but pictures have been taken. thinking about it. I bet those rolls are over 5 yrs old.

I should probably get them developed. But they have pictures of my Pack when they were toddlers on them. I just know it. and then I will mope and cry and whine cuz it will only remind me that I want more babies. does HH really want to hear all that again? I think not. but I do want to see those pics of my babies. as babies. it will not be a good thing I am afraid.

and I realized I use my kitchen cabinet as a medicine cabinet. but I have a bathroom medicine cabinet for that. so why does everything find itself in my kitchen? I know not. I must work on this. its all getting banished to the bathroom. where it belongs.

Mouth decided to clean out the garage. ha! but I just said I NEED a garage. that HH NEEDS a garage. well, to be honest we have a garage. but it is street level. our house is not street level. we live on a hill. a hill that requires 4WD to get up it in the winter. a hill that makes a wonderful sledding hill and snowboarding hill for the Pack. we never use the garage. not to say stuff doesn't find its way in there. it does. bikes. sleds. lawn mowers. lumber. toys. junk. junk. and more junk. its damp. a tree pushed the back wall in. its built in the side of the hill. I would love to get rid of that ugly block thing. but the expense of getting rid of it would be horrendous. so it stays. till it falls down. yep. we're THAT neighbor. ;)

I didn't ask Mouth to clean out the garage.
I didn't tell her to.
she's just that kind of girl.
I love her :D

Little Brother is mowing.
he picked up all the sticks on the yard already.
I didn't ask him to.
I didn't tell him to.
he's just that kind of guy.
I love him :D

Now I must clean out my, um, drink cabinet.
not that kind of drink cabinet! ;) I have a cabinet dedicated
to all my coffees and teas and lemonades and koolaids. and flavored
syrups, and sugars.
doesn't everyone?
no?
hmmm.

guess what I have posted on the door of my junk cabinet?
a postcard.
with the average monthly temps.
of Florida.
and in the middle of winter.
I look at that postcard.
every. day.
and I dream of sunshine.
and warm temps.
I did not throw it away.
I like to dream. ;)

A Monday Post

HH was home all weekend! with a sore back.

Nothing exciting happened.

It rained. The sun did not shine.

I was, um, crabby.

And HH was crabby with a sore back.

I realized that after him having spent so
many weekends working, that we don't know
what to do with each other when he is home
for a whole weekend.

and he has a sore back

and its raining out.

And I am crabby

And it Mothers Day, but nothing special happens.
and its the weekend after my bday.
and nothing special happens.

hmmmm.
can you tell the sun is NOT shining?

lol :)

I have big plans for this summer.

we are ripping the roof off of our house. not just the shingles.
the ROOF. new rafters. and everything. sadly it does
not mean more room. just a better pitch to the roof.
so hopefully no more ice dams and dripping in my bedroom
in the middle of night. for weeks and weeks.
and hopefully ripping out the old carpet and putting
hardwood floors in.
new siding. new windows. lots of work.
lots and lots of work.

it also means I will have no bedroom. or livingroom.
HH says it will only be for a week. or two. till we get it
dried in, then we can move things back in (really??).
I don't believe him. I am the wife of a contractor. I know
better. especially cuz all this work will be getting done on
nights and weekends. weekends that he isnt already working.
It will be mostly nights. by spotlight I believe.

and we will be sleeping on a mattress. on the floor. in the schoolroom.
the schoolroom does not have doors. you have to walk thru the schoolroom
to get to the girls' room. fun fun fun... thinking maybe the treehouse will be a
better option.

and no livingroom. its going to be a long summer.
pray for me. and HH. and the Brat Pack.

10 things...

10 things I am thankful for:
(in random order!!)

1~ the sunshine!! it is shining today!!! it is my happy drug :)

2~ spring snowfall. because I know it will melt when it hits the ground and it will not stick around for 5 months ;)

3~ Handsome Hubby. Love that man :) he puts up with, well, with ME! all my insecurities. my stress. my obsessive compulsive personality. he works so hard to support us.

4~ My Brat Pack. they make me smile, scream, yell, cry, giggle, pull my hair out, lock myself in my room, laugh till I cry. they keep me young. :D

5~ extended warranties ;) my old laptop went wonky. brought it in. 'damaged beyond repair' was the verdict. you know what I got out of the deal? a week unplugged (it was good for my mind), a new appreciation for blogging (you know how many times I wanted to grab my computer and blog and I COULDN'T!!??!!), and a brand spankin' new laptop!!

6~ a small house. some may think I am crazy. but I really do love my small house :) all the girls share one room, it teaches them, um, how to love at all times (?). 1 bathroom. it teaches us.. patience and strengthens our bladders? lol! all livingspaces (kitchen and livingroom) on one floor, (in reality our kitchen and livingroom kind of blend into each other). that way I always know what the Pack and their (many) friends are doing. ;)

7~ music. all kinds. all genres. I tell myself it makes me a well rounded person ;) you can tell my mood of the day by what I am listening to on my computer!

8~ a loving, forgiving Heavenly Father. goodness knows I can be VERY unlovable. and not worthy of forgiveness. and yet. He does. He loves me. and forgives me. it is an amazing love.

9~ coffee. nuff said.

10~ flowers. they add a touch of pretty to my life. a burst of sunshine on those days that the sun is not shining. they make my girly heart happy :)

One Week. One Month. One Year

I watched a movie the other day. (My computer was at the shop). It was called One Week. Kind of a dry movie, but I really got into it. A young man (my age ;) was told he had cancer. He only had so long to live (I can't remember how much time they gave him, I'm horrible at those kind of details!), so what does he do? He buys a motorcycle and takes off. For one week he travels. No where in particular. Just follows his nose. Heads west. Lives on his own terms.

The last thing you hear as the screen goes dark is, " what would YOU do? If you were given one week. One month. One year. to live. What would you do?"

It got me thinking.

I remember when my grandma was diagnosed with cancer. She was given a relatively short amount of time as an outlook. You know what she did? She went to FL. She went to Washington. She LIVED. She was diagnosed b4 I got pregnant with Baby Sister. She should have never seen Baby Sister, if we were to believe the Drs. Well, Baby Sister was born and Old Grandma got to hold her, love her up. And over the next 24 months they formed a very special relationship. Baby Sister ended up coming along for the ride when I went over to grandmas a few times a week. To bring a meal. A treat. As I cleaned, ect, Baby Sister and her 'Old Mama' cuddled and talked and laughed.

One week. One month. One year.
What WOULD I do?

Would I take time to witness to those loved ones that are bound for hell?

Would I get things right with those who I have done wrong to?

Would I take the time to stop and actually listen to my babies hopes and dreams? To their heartaches and challenges?

Would I turn off my computer and the tv and spend the time cuddling with my HH? Talking? Planning? Just breathing together?

Would I book that flight to the ocean so I could smell the ocean air again?

Would I do those things I have always dreamt about? Cliff jumping, sky diving....

Would I take a road trip? See the things I have dreamt of seeing? The Rocky Mountains, those big trees in California, the west coast, Texas, Central Park...

What would I do?

What would you do? What are some of the things that you find yourself putting off? Those things that you always say, "someday. someday, when the kids are grown. when we have money. when we have the time."

What would you do if you found out you were out of time?

And after I though about all of that, I then asked myself. "why wait?"
We aren't promised tomorrow. Shouldn't we all live as if today is our last day?

I think its time for me to take that time to listen to my babies. Turn off the tv and computer and cuddle with my HH. Get things right with those that I have done wrong to. Witness to those unsaved loved ones. My 'fun things' may have to wait until the kids are grown. till we have the money.

but those things that I can do now? those things that mean the most?

those things I will take the time to do.
and I will live like I was told that I have one week. one month. one year. to LIVE.

I'm still here :)

So much has happened the last few weeks around here...

• A very close friend of the Pack came to evangelistic meetings a few weeks ago. She texted us later that night and told us that she had prayed and she had accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior! We were so happy! Then she invited invited invited... 2 more friends accepted Christ as Savior that week :)

• Then I received a text from her. it was the next week. it was 8 am. on a school day. she was very upset. the kids at the local high school had just received word that one of their classmates had committed suicide. right away she has been put in the fire. and it tested her. and we prayed. and prayed. and prayed. she was immersing herself in her new Bible. trying to find answers. she did good. the end of that same week. she calls Beans. she's in tears. another classmate had just committed suicide and she was afraid for the rest of her classmates. the whole town went into crisis mode. every teen was watched. parents took time off of work to be home with their kids. the crisis center had beds full of teens on suicide watch. the local hospital had 1 teen admitted. we have had 2 funerals this week. 2 kids with their lives ahead of them. its hard to understand.

• friday night on tv there was a program. it was about 'IFB' churches. I had never heard anyone refer to Independent Fundamental Baptist churches as 'IFB'. it was kinda scary how they brought to light so many things. I was raised in an 'IFB' church. I still go to that same 'IFB' church. I think all "religions" have churches and pastors that are bad apples and I don't think we should all be painted with that same broad brush. But listening to the people being interviewed... I can really see some of the things that they talked about. I have struggled with the narrow-mindedness of 'fundys' lately. more and more in the last 5 yrs. it has made me step back and really search my heart and examine things a little more closely. I'm still trying to figure out things.

• we are celebrating 2 birthdays this weekend :) Baby Sister turned 9 a couple weeks ago and Little Brother turns 11 tomorrow!! I am going to try my hand at some pretty fancy cakes. we'll see how that turns out...

• the next couple days I plan on getting some spring cleaning done. its supposed to snow. um. yeah. not happy about that. at. all. my front porch is just now getting easier to clean. its going to be back to mud and muck by the weekend :P yuck.

• am I only person that does not get this 'WINNING' thing that is going around?? I have heard about it. seen it on FB. its mentioned on tv shows. brought up on news casts. I think it all has to do with Charlie Sheen? I guess my thoughts are that anything that has Charlie Sheen in it can not be thought of as 'winning'. I pity the man. He seems to be SCREAMING for help and people are making him into a hero of some kind. I guess it makes me sad because it really shows how immoral our world has become. And it scares me to think my children are growing up in this corrupt and immoral world. yikes.

Guess I better get busy with that 'spring' cleaning list that is about a mile long :P and make some cakes and get them in the freezer. and figure out what I'm going to feed the Brat Pack for dinner. and. and. and..... :D I hope the sun is shining in your neck of the woods. if it is, soak some up for me please!!! I have a feeling we are going to be on a 8 day drear around here :P and you know what that means. I pout. ;)

A Friday List

• 1~ I just saw a peak of sunshine and I instantly smiled :D

• 2~ S got saved this week!! She's kinda like an adopted daughter to us. that news made me do a happy dance and cry happy tears!

• 3~ BabySister turned 9 on Tuesday! It made me feel old :(

• 4~ we have had evangelistic meetings at our church all week... tonight is the last night and the Pack and S are inviting everyone they can think of! So far we have 2 vehicles packed and S is still texting me and asking if she can invite 'this person' and "oh! is it alright that I invited my cousin too?" thinking we may have to call in some help getting them all to town!

• 5~ I made apple cinnamon pancakes this morning.

• 6~ The Pack thinks I must be the best mom in the whole world, and no one makes food as yummy as me ;)

• 7~ ok, they didn't really say that. I doubt they have ever even thought it. being a mom is a truly thankless job. sometimes I need to make things up in my head to make me feel like they actually notice everything I do for them. every. single. day.

• 8~ it rained yesterday!

• 9~ more snow melted!

• 10~ the roof did not drip!!

• 11~ instead the basement floor is covered in water :( urgh.

• 12~ Little Brother is wonderful at pulling up carpet and stacking everything against the far wall.

• 13~ and mopping up the water.

• 14~ in the middle of the night :(

• 15~ without even waking me and HH (Handsome Hubby, keep up people!)!!

• 16~ Love that boy :D

• 17~ its another working weekend for HH

• 18~ and I WILL NOT POUT!!!

• 19~ I will be thankful for the work

• 20~ I will be thankful for the work

• 21~ I will be THANKFUL for the work! (ok, that was a little more convincing ;)