Some days I find myself just rambling about nothing, dreaming of something big happening in my life... win the lottery (problem with that one is I would first have to PLAY the lottery in order to WIN the lottery ;), lose weight, have an amazing body, get my hair done, have money to buy clothes that actually fit me, a closet full of shoes, ( I really do love shoes, you would never know it to see my humble collection of 4 pairs of shoes ) get a mani and pedi on a REGULAR basis! ( I have had it done ONCE in my life, a bday present from my favorite auntie :), space and time to work on my sewing and crafts, the money to travel and take a vacation with Handsome Hubby and the Pack... just dreaming again. You know me, I love to dream :)
I dream of being witty and charming and having friends to call up and get together with "just because". I think I may actually be a pretty boring person. I don't have amazing things happen in my life. I have never had any life altering moment occur. You know, one of those "ah ha" moments that you hear about? Yeah, um never had anything like that happen to me.
Just another manic Monday! But you've had those kind of days too! Right?
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Saying "Good Bye" is such a difficult thing to do. When we know our loved one is going to be in Jesus' arms soon, we know that it is not a time to be sad but to be joyful that they are without pain, that they will once again be totally lucid and not confused, but I can be selfish and not want him to go. Right? I can still grieve and my heart can be breaking for the strong woman he is leaving behind. Seeing her sitting by his bed, with her head lying on the pillow next to his head, seeing her lips moving and tears flowing down her cheeks, knowing she is praying for a swift and painless passing for her beloved husband, thinking that THAT is the woman I want to be like. Trying to imagine the feeling of going home alone, thinking of the preperations that she will be making in the days ahead, not being able to imagine being able to do any of that, yet knowing she will, she doesn't have a choice. So I can be selfish and not want it to happen, not now, not ever. But I know it will, thats part of life. God's plan for all of us. For everything there is a season. That's just the way it is. So I will carry that picture in my heart forever. Of this amazingly strong godly woman sitting by her beloved husband, tears flowing down her cheeks, and seeing her lips moving in prayer. She is my Grandmother. I love her. I want to be like her.