Friday, March 18, 2016

I blinked

Where have the last 20 years gone?
Sometimes I look back at this life of ours and am amazed.
Amazed at the grace of my Lord and Savior who has kept our
family safe in the shelter of His arms.

Some may look at our family and question that statement.
Safe? How can you even say that? Look what
you have had to deal with as a family!
 Death. Sin. Heartache.
So much time spent apart from each other!

My answer is this.
Without God I would not have found the peace and comfort
that followed the death.
Without God I would not have been able to love thru the sin.
Without God I would not have been able to show love,
compassion and forgiveness.
Without God I would not BE able to love thru so much time spent
apart from each other.

Beans, a single mom with an adorable blessing.
God knows His plans in our daughter's and grandson's life.
I am a firm believer in taking our sins and turning them into blessings.
It can only be accomplished thru forgiveness and lots of prayer
and heart-checks.
My girl amazes me with her humility. Her love
for her son. Her determination to bring every fear and worry
to her Lord thru prayer. Now she looks back at our "rules",
the ones she fought against so hard!!!, and understands them.
She watches her younger siblings and encourages me to
stick to my guns. "They will understand someday and be
thankful that you didn't buckle". 
I blinked. And she grew up.

Our Blue- Eyed Angel is still flying under the radar.
She does what she wants, doesn't announce it to anyone,
 goes days without talking to me, loves her nephew
to pieces, keeps busy with work, and loves with all
her heart. She talks about her future.
 About wanting to get married and start a family.
Now when I overhear her talking with her sisters
she is the one who reminds them that they will be getting
married and not living together forever.
I must have blinked.
My angel baby is not a baby anymore.

Mouth is graduating. She is already half moved into her
sisters place. She wants to spread her wings and fly.
Fly away from home, away from the rules and
confines of parents.
She wants to make her own decisions, her own mistakes.
And I understand it.
We raised our children to be independent. Free thinkers.
Wanderers. And these are the consequences of it.
What happened to my blonde-haired (She dyed her hair BROWN :( 
dandelion puff, wild little girl?
I look at her and see a quiet brunette,
with straight hair and big dreams.
Why did I blink?!?!?

Little Brother. He sure isn't little anymore. He's almost
taller then his sisters, even Mouth!
He has a summer job. A summer job that will give him the
experience he could use for the future.
It will also take him away from home. A lot. Like father, like son, I guess.
We raised our Pack to be hard-workers. To
be respectful. To always go the extra mile.
And this is the consequence. A company that would like to train him,
to give him the experience he needs to be a site superintendent.
To oversee multi million dollar projects. Trades that want
to train him, to give him experience in all the aspects of
construction management.
Oh. Did I mention he's also getting his drivers license next month?
I don't want to blink!!!

Baby Sister. Is a teenager. She will be getting her first cell phone soon.
She is talking about applying for a summer job.
She loves doing hair and makeup. And she is actually quite talented at it.
She still loves to crawl in bed with me at the end of
the day and tell me all her hopes and dreams.
She tells me what is going on in her heart and life.
She laughs and giggles with me and we act goofy together.
She is still my baby girl.
I refuse to blink.

 Last night, as I laid in bed, I could hear my 3 youngest
laughing and giggling and talking together.
Usually I would get annoyed at this happening at 10:40
at night and everyone should be sleeping.
I was ready to yell at all of them to head to bed
and be QUIET!!!
But I didn't.
I paused, and thought to myself, "I wont be hearing these
voices, those laughs and giggles, for very much longer."

There is a season for everything.
As a young wife and mother, I couldn't see past the
end of the week, sometimes the end of the day.
Diapers, potty training, dishes, 3 meals a day, laundry,
band-aids and stitches and broken bones, teaching, training,
loving, living.
"Lord, get me thru today. just today" was often my prayer.

And then.
I blinked.

And I miss it.

I miss the nightly bath times, braiding my little girls' hair,
snuggling on the couch and reading story books,
sloppy kisses and little arms that wouldn't let go,
little girls twirling thru the living room and landing
in a giggling heap on the floor.
My little blonde haired boy that always wanted a hug and kiss.
Who would tell me about his adventures, snuggled up on
the couch with me.

I am now in a between seasons.
I have another little boy, this one looks like he may have dark hair,
to hug and kiss and snuggle on the couch with. To read stories to.
I still have my Littles who come home and tell me all about their adventures.

I am looking forward to this next season with my love.
To going on adventures with him.
To finally have time for just the 2 of us (if that's even possible).

And its going to come soon enough.


Everyone blinks.

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