Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Fake Family

Have you ever met my Fake family? No? Really? They are pretty amazing. If I do say so myself :)

Let me tell you something about them..

My Fake children ALWAYS wash their hands, and sing the abc song while doing so, after each and every trip to the bathroom. They always rinse out the sink and leave no traces of toothpaste in the sink after brushing their teeth. Which they do after every meal. They have the prettiest pearly whites one ever did see :)

They never fight, or squabble. No yelling and screaming is ever heard from the upstairs bedroom where all 4 girls share a room. There is never any hair pulling or scratching or biting. Never.

They don't swing from the rafters and use the couch as their landing pad. They would never do that. The couch would break. And they would have to prop up the corner of the couch with leftover hardwood flooring boards. And that would just never work with my Fake family. Swinging from the rafters is unheard of in my Fake family.

My Fake daughters always wear skirts and their hairs are always braided. My Fake daughters would never have a problem with, ahem, acne. NEVER! Because everyone knows a fake family has NO blemishes...

My Fake son always wears a button down shirts and has his hair trimmed weekly to give him that clean cut look that all Fake families have. And my Fake son would never make himself and his baby sister a homemade bow and arrows. Because my Fake son cherishes life and abhors violence. ( And yes, in my Fake family we use words like 'abhor'.)

My Fake children would never think it is funny to terrorize the dog and make him bark and bug their big sisters while doing school. My fake children always sit quietly, with their feet on the floor and in absolute silence while doing their schoolwork. And did you get the memo? They are all 5 entered into the National spelling bee? I know. Amazing isn't it??? That Fake family of mine are AMAZING spellers!!!

My Fake children never EVER go mattress surfing down the stairs. Or jump off the roof into the snow. And Fake Shanan would never remind them to "make sure you are jumping where the snow is deep enough". My Fake children never leave their chores undone. And when visitors stop by? They always sit quietly and do not interrupt the conversation. They sit quietly and do embroidery and study geography in their spare time.

And on Sunday mornings my fake family is up early and we have a nice breakfast together and I do the girls' hair in fancy braids or the latest fashionable trendy hair do and Little Brothers hair is always combed and presentable with no cowlicks. The girls all wear long skirts and matching blouses. Little Brothers shirts are always neatly pressed with not a wrinkle in sight. And we make it to church without a hair out of place. My Fake family would never be seen scrambling around on a Sunday morning trying to find a shirt without missing buttons, and Fake Shanan would never be heard yelling at the children that they all overslept and they only have 15 minutes to be up and in the truck for church. No. Not my fake family.

Fake Handsome Hubby leads the family in devotions every morning before leaving for work and Fake Shanan always has a hot breakfast ready for her family when they wake up at 0' dark thirty to start their day.

Did you know Fake Shanan is a size 6? Yes. She is. Because she only makes right choices. And she wakes up b4 her family so she can start her day with her hr workout and devotional time. And Fake Shanan ALWAYS has her hair styled and tastefully applied makeup on her face b4 her family wakes up. And Fake Shanan makes her bread from scratch and only serves homemade, wholesome dishes to her family. Oh!! And its all organic! She is truly amazing, that Fake Shanan is.

Doesn't my Fake family sound absolutely

... boring? and not real at all? Yeah. I think so too.

I think every mom has a fake family somewhere lurking in the back of their minds. I know I do. And sometimes I get frustrated and angry with my Pack for not living up to my Fake family standards. Don't we all wish we could be, well, perfect, sometimes? I think perfect is probably over rated. How boring would life be if we were all perfect?

We wouldn't have to need to be forgiven. We wouldn't need to trust in our Heavenly Father for eternal salvation, or just to get thru the day. Perfect is just not how God intended us to be. I am His, flaws and blemishes and wretchedness all included. I guess He gave me my Pack to show me how He can love us, complete with flaws and blemishes and wretchedness. I love my Real family. Even their flaws and blemishes and wretchedness. It makes them who they are. And I wouldn't trade them in for anything!

What are your fake families like? Do you have a Fake family? Or is that just me?? hmmmm...

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