30 on Thursday!.....hmmmm...

 I struggle with "10 on Tuesday", and I here I am, declaring "30 on Thursday!"

Lets see...

 

*1. New Orleans makes me nervous.

it smells. and its dirty.

there is water everywhere. and not the nice,

"I wanna go swimming and lay out in the sun and play in the sand"

type of water.

No. It's more of the,

"There are crocs. and bugs and snakes. and I will die if I go in that water!"

type of water.

no thank you.

 

*2. I love Nashville.

LOVE. IT.

the 

"I could live there

and work there

and sleep there.

and walk around music row all day

and night

and day" 

kind of love.

*sigh*

 

*3. I went to my very first concert.

 it was Luke Bryan.

I was 5 feet from the stage.

it was A.MAZ.ING.

it was free.

A.MAZ.ING.

 

*4. I love our new church.

I love the ppl.

they are my kind of ppl.

REAL ppl.

 

*5. I hate "1 step forward, 2 steps back"

kind of days

 

~case in point~

 

*6. I cleaned the kitchen.

did the dishes.

 

* fed the baby.

 

*7. made dinner for the Brat Pack and Company

 

*8. did the dishes again

 

*9.. stocked the wood stove.

 

*10. rocked the baby to sleep

and chatted with Auntie :)

(laid sleeping baby down)

 

*11.  cleaned my bedroom

vacuumed

dusted

cleaned the closet.

 

*12.checked the wood stove.

 

*13.  vacuumed the schoolroom/addition

dusted

organized

 

*14.  walked into the kitchen

cleaned it.

again.

did the dishes.

again.

 

*15. stocked the wood stove

 

*16. folded laundry

put it away

 

*17. checked for eggs

 

*18. cleaned the coop

 

*19. brought Remi out

 

*20. did another load of laundry

put it away

 

*21. cleaned out the fridge

 

*22. did the dishes.

AGAIN.

(I do not have a dishwasher. just an FYI)

 

*23. checked for eggs.

again

(the red still hasn't laid today)

 

oh.

 

*24. we did school thru-out this entire time.

 

*25. now its time for me to get supper ready.

so I can do dishes.

again.

 

and I seriously think I could vacuum

the entire house again since

you can't tell I already did it once today.

:P

 

see what I mean?

1 step forward.

2 steps back.

ugh.

 

*26. Blue Eyes received her blue card!!!

one step closer to driving!

 

*27. one the kids' good friends

made the decision to accept Christ

as their Lord and Savior!

 

*28. HH led him to the Lord. :)

A.MAZ.ING.

 

*29. I don't like having pets.

too much hair.

(have I mentioned this before?)

 

*30. its really weird collecting eggs,

 bringing them in the house,

and immediately cracking them to eat.

its gives me the heebie jeebies.

 

Just sayin'.

 

so there you have it.

"30 on Thursday"

 

hope your day was as productive as mine ;)

lol

cold? what is cold?

its supposed to get cold this weekend.

I don't like cold.

I'm more of a sunshine and sand and OCEAN type of girl

I miss the ocean

the smell of it

the taste of the salty air

the sand that gets EVERYWHERE

 

mmmm....

really really want to fly away right now

and go to the ocean

 

its been one of those,

"am I crabby? or not crabby?"

kind of weeks

and its hump day

so I'm hoping that is all behind me

 

our anniversary is coming up

17 yrs???

weird.

I'm way too young to be celebrating my 17th wedding anniversary

 

I took pics of the Brat Pack this week

it was...

interesting

I only got one. yes ONE.

pic of all of them together.

I need to take some more I think

 

its supposed to get cold this weekend.

oops.

already mentioned that didnt I.

its on my mind.

a lot

anywho

HH put a sign on the radio this morning,

"Get the yard cleaned up, and stuff put away.

Its gonna get cold this weekend"

cuz I needed a reminder.

 

I keep telling everyone,

"Its only for the weekend.

then its gonna warm up again."

come'on people!!!
its only October!

 

I have high hopes.

cuz I'm more of a sunshine and sand and OCEAN type of girl.

 

well I will leave you with the ONE pic I got of the Pack...

 

 

 

its been one of those....

its been another one of those days.

weeks?

yeah. I'll go with another one of those weeks.

It wasnt all bad.

 

the oldest 4 of my Pack went to the kickoff of yg :)
Baby Sister started her Wed night program again :)

I am actually working with the 2nd graders this year.

so much fun :)

and kinda funny when they look at me and say,

"Hey!!! You're Mouth's mom arent you?!?!"

and then when I answer the affirmative they smile and

I am deemed 'one of the cool moms'

cuz I am Mouth's mom,

and she is "super cool and so much FUN!!!"

lol!!!

I have a lot to live up to I think ;)

 

my allergies have flared up

again

I am miserable

no other way to put it

mis.er.able.

I look like I went 10 rounds with Mohamed Ali

mis.er.able.

 

Little Brother has been working with HH all week

 

HH has decided to quit drinking pop

cuz he hurts

his bones, muscles, joints, ect

everything hurts

and his head bobbles sometimes

thinking it may have something to do with the

copious amounts of Dt Dew he drinks

everyday

so he's quiting.

 

Little Brother has brought home reports of a cranky HH

caffeine withdrawl

not fun

 

 we have been avoiding each other

he comes home at night and I find something to keep myself

out of his way.

its best that way.

he knows he crabby and itching for a fight

I know he's crabby and everything I say or do

WILL be held against me and used to fuel a fight.

So I avoid.

its working so far ;)

hoping this withdrawl goes by quickly...

 

its another working weekend for HH.

which means another boring weekend for me :P

its probably a good thing tho.

too much time together would probably result in us fighting...

not a good thing

 

I am wondering if I should start another Pinterest acct.

using a fake, ahem, nickname.

It seems my humor could be seen as inappropriate.

I can just hear them now,

"she used to be such a nice girl. I wonder what happened to her."

bwhahahahaha!!!

how do ya like me now???

 

 



A little Corny

Anyone who has me on FB may be getting a little annoyed with my corny jokes this weekend, but after a 5 day funk, I was reading one of my favorite blogs and she had posted a few of her favorite corny jokes, I busted up laughing, and it broke my 5 day funk :) and now I keep finding more corny jokes and I bust up laughing, and HH and The Brat Pack just roll their eyes and sigh.

 

Here's one of my favorites.

It has 2 parts,

so its more like 2 of my favorites...

 

What did the fish say when it

ran into a concrete wall??

DAM!!!

 

bwhahahahaha!!!!!

 

ok ok, now for pt2...

 

What did the dam say when

the fish ran into it?

DUMB BASS!!!!

 

HAHAHA!!!!

I know.

I am easily amused ;)

 

Got up this morning

packed lunches for HH and 4 of the Pack.

threw bread in the toaster

then threw toast at the kids

and sent them out the door

they are helping HH shingle a house today.

He wants to get the whole thing done

to.day.

tore off, picked up.

AND

shingled.

whew!!!

hope they are ready for it!

 

Beans stayed home with me

(she has to work at her reg job tonight)

and we got "the cutest baby in the world"

for the day :)

 

So I had every floor in the house swept and mopped

before, yes, BEFORE, 7 o'clock this morning :)

(she's crawling everywhere, and we have 2 dogs and

2 cats in the house, yuck!, and I am anal like that)

 

so since all the floors were mopped

I decided that all the windows should be washed too...

 

I have come to the conclusion that

I would much rather wash toddler kisses

and sticky finger prints off my windows and patio doors

than doggy nose art. yuck.

 

Remi now knows how to open the patio door AND the front screen door...

urgh.

got back from the little town over yonder the other day.

and Rem was sitting on the deck to greet us.

of course he somehow had the time to go for a swim in the river too...

yuck.

now we need to teach him how to SHUT the patio door

so the cats don't get out....

 

its feeling like fall around here.

sweatshirts and shorts are being worn

socks and tennis shoes instead of flip flops

allergy season is in full swing

( I look like I have been beat up in my sleep

every morning when I wake up :P )

candles are burning

we are actually using the oven

 

yep

definantly fall

 

I am NOT looking forward to winter

I am more of a sunshine, sand and warmth type of girl

not a clouds, snow and cold type of girl

in case you forgot.

 

well, I better get some more stuff done around here

so when HH and the Pack get home it looks like I

worked almost as hard as them today ;)

lol!!

why do I love you?

Sometimes, I just sit and look at my man

(he's very sexy)

and I'll *sigh* and say,

I love you.

which he undoubtedly will respond with

"why??"

so here,

my dear.

  is why....

1~ you always let me have the last bite of your ice cream cone.

well. unless you're mad at me.

but usually you give me that last bite.

it's my favorite part of a cone.

I can do without having a cone

as long as you give me that last bite of yours ;)

2~ you still take me for drives on country roads.

those back roads that are twisty and hilly

and easy to get lost in

and you still try to get me all turned around

then you look at me,

smile

and say,

"get us home"

:)

(when we were kids I would never have a clue on how to get us home,

but we have those neat little direction thingys now.

you know,

the N, S, E, W thingy on the dash?

yep, that is the only way I can get us home :)

3~ you shave your head.

cuz you knows I love it :)

4~ you makes fun of my allergies

but yet,

when you see a bee

you get me out of the way quick

or if we are eating somewhere, you ask if

there are nuts in anything.

you are my protector :)

you remember to bring my pillow and

usually a blanket with when we are staying

overnight somewhere.

(its never fun to spend time away from home

covered in an itchy rash)

5~ you can tell, when you walk in the house after work, if

I am having a headache day. 

 you kick the Pack out

and make supper

you put dark blankets over the windows

and make sure things are kept to a dull roar

until I am feeling myself again

6~ you never complained when I would stay up all night

reading a good book

even when I had the lamp on the enitre night.

you bought me a kindle :)

now you get your sleep

and I get my books:)

7~ thru 5 babies,

then toddlers,

me working nights

you working days

you never complained about the

dirty dishes in the sink

dirty laundry piled up in the bathroom.

you would get home,

send me to bed

(so I could maybe get an hr or 2 of sleep b4 I went back to work)

and you would make supper, get the house cleaned up

kids bathed and ready for bed.

then you would wake me up in time for me to head to work.

8~ when we see a really nice old car

you look at me and grin

and ask me the make and model.

I usually can get it right,

within a yr or 2 at least.

then you smile at me :)

and I smile back

:)

9~ when we go to the fair,

you find a bench for just the two of us

right by the band shell

and we cuddle together

and you hold my hand

and you sing the songs to me.

very quiety

in my ear.

and my heart goes boom boom

10~ whenever we get soda pop

you always give me the ice thats left

in the bottom of your cup.

cuz I always chew ice.

(how do you not get annoyed about that???)

the list goes on and on....

I will keep adding to it.

cuz I gotta say.

I think I fall more and more in love with you.

everyday :)

given enough coffee, I can rule the world!!!

or not.

after a full pot of coffee by 9 am, you'd think I would be a little more awake.

nope. not at all.

I'm blaming it on my allergies.

I am miserable with allergies the last couple weeks.

watched the news last night,

was informed that the pollen, ragweed, ect allergies will be getting worse

kill.

me.

now.

I have a houseful of little kids

I am not used to a houseful of little kids

who knew?

my big girls took the little ones to the new park

its nice having big girls :)

lets see, whats happened in the last 2 months???

ummmm...

nothing?

yep.

really not much has happened...

Blue Eyes crashed and burned on her bike.

separated her shoulder

and was in a sling for a few weeks

Mouth is now 14!!!!!!

that was,

for some reason??

a really big deal.

then she texts me

this was the text,

"hey, if any guy asks dad if he can

go out with me tell them I don't want to

date till in I'm 15, or 16.

okay."

lol!!! Love that girl!!!!

she got her own phone

she loves it

Baby Sister is revolting

she does not want to be considered "little"

my opinion?
tough

you are little.  ;)

Little Brother is always on the go

fishing

biking

jumping

working with HH

he never wears a shirt,

ever.

we find ourselves having to remind him

to put a shirt on for church

weird

Beans is working working working

and when she's not working at her reg job

she's working with her dad

or helping me with daycare kids

I kinda sorta love that girl.

me

the girl who does not like animals

(ok, I probably would like them if I wasn't allergic to them)

has seemed to be left with this menagerie of pets on a daily basis

daily

poop patrol

feeding

watering

brushing

refereeing

have I mentioned that I do not like animals???

yeah

kids are all out of the house

I should probably get something done around here

while I can ;)

time to crank the music!

later dudes



knee surgery and the mean mom

Not much going on around here lately... lets see

HH goes in for knee surgery Friday. he messed it up a month ago and we finally got approval from the insurance to go ahead with the surgery. It will be amazing around here while he recovers I'm sure.

Beans got a kitten, cuz we need another animal in this house

Blue Eyes still has her little rat dog, Boo. even the ppl at the vet office didn't know if he was really really cute? or just so ugly, that he's cute.

Mouth is still growing. 5'9". seriously???

Little Brother finally started growing!!!! after 4 seasons of wearing the same clothes I finally got to buy him bigger sizes!

Baby Sister is, well, she's 10. and she's trying to find her own "thing" with 3 older sisters, it isn't easy.

life is always busy around here. always have a house full of kids. today I sent them all away. sometimes I need to reclaim my house and get some breathing room.  

we put some summer rules into place a month ago, needless to say, 3 of the pack have been grounded in the last month. hoping they learn and this wont be an ongoing pattern for the summer :P 

thinking I may have to implement a few other things soon.... like, no friends till noon. mandatory reading time. and chores HAVE to get done BY noon or no friends for the day. 

I hate being the 'mean mom' all the time.

I start round 2 of my diet next week... here's hoping for another 40 lbs!

I have a feeling we will be doing a lot of yard work in the coming month. a few days ago we had a storm come thru and we had a mess to clean up, it got HH in the mood to get the yard looking good. we have heard the chainsaw going in the evenings around here. Little Brother does most the mowing, and we finally got a good weed whip, so he's loving that new toy. yesterday he asked me if I could show him how to run the chainsaw.... I told him, "uh,no. that won't be happening."  I'm sure he will be cutting down trees and splitting wood for the winter soon tho. man they grow up fast.  *tear*

A May post

*conversation with Beans this morning*

"mom, how does this look for work???"
like you just rolled out of bed, put a Zorbaz shirt on and called it good....
"oh. I'll take the white shirt off... how does it look now?"
perfect. lol.

*conversation with Mouth this morning*

"hey mom. did you know that people are jealous of our life?"
why would people be jealous of OUR life?!?!?
"cuz we have a pretty amazing life, mom. pretty fricken amazin'."

I love her. and yes, I think we have a pretty amazing life too.
when the house is clean.
when the bills are paid.
when the kids are healthy.
when HH isn't hurting.
and everyone is on a good mood!!! lol

I banned the skateboard to the outside.
cutest baby in the world is now rolling
and she spends a lot of time on the floor playing.
the skateboard was scary to have wizzing around
the house when she was playing on the floor.
so it got banned to the outside.

I finally finished my school/craft room cabinets!!!
sanded, painted, painted some more, hardware on
and up on the walls!!! today I will be cleaning out
my craft supplies and getting everything organized!!
     "I love it when a plan comes together!!"
*anyone know what movie that line is from??*

ok. I have been on this diet. its a hard diet. not for the faint
of heart. not for someone without determination. not for
someone going it alone. (you have to have support on this one!!!)
its a crazy, sometimes stupid!!, diet. and sometimes I hate it and
I cheat and I EAT some real food ;)  but the results cannot be
argued. I started this diet the first week of May. and I have
now lost 34 pounds!!! :) 

I told the Pack that I would be crabby.
I havent been crabby :) super hyper? yes. have energy comin out
of my ears? yes!  sleeping good? yes! crabby? NOPE!!! :) 
ok. I have had my moments. when I want to EAT food.
real food. not lettuce. but those moments pass pretty quickly :)

my reward for losing the first 30?
I got my hair cut :)
and my cartilage pierced :)
and no, I am NOT being a rebel!!!
and I am not a freak (auntie!!!)
I am being the me that I have always
been, but have never allowed others to see.

if only you guys knew who I would like to be!!
I think you would be surprised. lol

but thats for another post  ;)

A post of updates....

yikes! almost a month since I last posted? thats kinda ridiculous. even for me. so lets update on a few things.....

Mouth had another CT scan. everything was clear. nothing abnormal and no lingering infections or inflammation! I have to admit, I breathed a sigh of relief. She still struggles with memory issues, and trying to find the right words for things, but she's working thru it. some days  I have noticed she just doesnt talk much, I am wondering if thats how she's dealing. by just not saying much  :/  Something I need to keep my eye on I think.

Little Brother is still skateboarding thru the house on every chance he gets. and we are still tripping over him everytime we turn around, but according to him, "these floors are PERFECT for skateboarding!!" lol. and to be honest? I really dont mind ;)

It still hasnt warmed up around here much. which is a big bummer for me :/ and we have had a lot of rain the last week. which is not good for the basement :P  and the dryer broke down. I mean totally broke down, "the no point in trying to save" type of brokedown. it sucks.  but HH had an ingenius idea, and we strung clothesline in our addition :) so now we have clothes hanging around the house drying :)  and surprisingly I don't mind one bit :)  I think after 6 months of living in a house under construction, I can handle clothes hanging to dry. lol 

I had another birthday. I really don't like birthdays that much. I am not feeling any older, yet the calendar says I am. I don't think thats fair. ;) I tell HH daily, 'I refuse to get any older!" he just shakes his head and creaks and groans when he gets off the couch. and I giggle. and call him, "sexy old man".

Spring is such a busy time of birthdays around here, so maybe I'll update everyone on my Pack's ages...

                                                                      Beans ~ 16

                                                                   Blue Eyes  15

                                                                        Mouth  13

                                                                  Little Brother  12

                                                            Baby Sister  10


not much else new around here... I will try to to a better job of posting, I know there has been funny stories that have been overlooked and I am just too lazy and tired to try to pull them out of this foggy brain of mine tonight. so maybe in the near future we will have some funnies to post. but for tonight, I'm going to bed.

                                                              Later Dudes.

Hump day

it stormed last night :) I love thunderstorms. in case you hadn't heard. LOVE them.

and then i woke up this morning and the sun was shining :) I love the sunshine. in case you hadn't heard. LOVE it.

and HH was home till almost 9! and i was in a really good mood. and The Pack was in a really good mood :) its only 9:20. and its already been an amazing day.

I love days like this :)

the house is clean. dishes are done. showers have been taken. laundry is chugging away. HH went to work. YG tonight. (so I get my 2 hrs to MYSELF!!!) Cutest baby in the world should be getting here any minute. :)

Little Brother received a skate board from Baby Sister for his birthday. hard wood floors + 12 yr old with a brand new board = chaos!!!! and can I say? I kinda love it. :)

my girls have been crazy lately! so much fun! and crazy :) love them to death. they make me smile :)

HH has been working. a lot. and when he comes home he hurts. and he's exhausted. so I give him a back massage and he falls asleep. can you say 'BORING!!!" ??? yeah. its boring. especially when I'm in a super good, bouncing off the walls, HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT, mood ;) lol! poor guy. i think i can get to be too much for him sometimes.

Mouth cleaned my van yesterday. really cleaned it. it looks A.MAZ.ING!!!! so HH left his truck here today so she can clean it :) as long as she has a stereo, she's all good :) "crank up the music and dig in" is her motto (wonder where she got that?) I think anyone could find our house on a "deep clean" day just by following the beat :)

time to go. I think I'm gonna clean out the fridge and freezer. so if you hear a beat? drop by and visit :)

later dudes!!!

I'm that girl

That girl that collects all the shopping carts and puts them in the cart corral in the parking lot at Walmart. and takes the ones that are not in "order", out and puts them back in. in order. and the Pack gets embarrassed and pleads with me to just "get in the van!! plz!! MOM!!!!".

That girl that could never work at walmart because she would get stuck at the bargain bin movies, putting them in alphabetical order. cuz that's how they should be.

That girl that hates wearing shoes. even in the winter.

That girl that dreams of wandering this earth, with no destination in mind. meeting strangers, taking pictures, immersing myself in the cultures and lives of others.

I'm that girl that talks to strangers at the store. opens doors for the elderly, smiles at babies, and helps mothers with small children because she knows what they are going thru.

I'm that girl that loves thunderstorms and dancing in the rain. barefoot, with her hair down. :) She loves mud puddles.

I'm that girl that loves to sing in the shower, cranks up the stereo when she's cleaning the house, and grabs random children to dance around the room with.

I'm that girl that opens up all the windows when it hits 50 degrees in the spring of the year, but grabs a blanket to wrap herself up with to take a nap on the deck in the sunshine when its 80.

I'm that girl that cannot watch an entire movie without getting distracted by something. then loses her place and spends the rest of the movie asking everyone else what is going on.

I'm that girl that goes for walks in the middle of the night. in the rain. she stops in the middle of the street, spreads out her arms, tilts her face to the sky, and loves to feel the water cascade down her face and hair.

I'm that girl that has to sleep in total darkness and silence. When she sleeps at all.

I'm that girl.

That girl that is sarcastic when she shouldn't be. can be brutally honest when it would be best to keep her mouth shut. I'm that girl that speaks first and thinks later. gets mad quickly but asks for forgiveness just as quickly.

I'm that girl that loves to cuddle on the couch to watch a movie. but will probably fall asleep half way thru then wake up and want to know how it ended. :)

I'm that girl that loves to use her man's chest as a human pillow. but rarely is allowed to :P

I'm that girl that can have a biting comment but also will flash you a smile and a wink out of nowhere.

I'm that girl. that girl that loves with all her heart, trusts most everyone. but when you break her trust, you will have to work very hard for her to even give you the time of day.

I'm that girl that crunches on ice in the next booth over at the restaurant and in the row behind you at the movie theater ;) sorry about that.

I'm that girl that will ignore her phone for days on end. but can't live without her computer.

I'm that girl.

middle of the night randoms

its 1 am. and i cant sleep. so i blog. and i dont use capitalization or punctuation. just warning you. so if you are the type of person that just cannot abide by no capitalization or punctuation? stop reading now. seriously. this is a lazy post and i dont care about either.

i have fingernails!!! i have ALWAYS bitten my nails. always. i never used to wear nail polish cuz my nails always looked so ugly and i just could not bring attention to them. but that has changed :) i actually have fingernails. and i do plan on polishing them. and bringing attention to them.

we have been having some weird things going on around here. really weird things. hh and blue eyes were talking one night. in the livingroom. they both stopped talking and got real still. they looked at each other and asked, "did you hear that too?" they both swear they heard a little girl talking to them. and it seemed like she was standing between the 2 of them. a few days later, i was sitting in the livingroom with 'the cutest baby ever', and i heard a little girl say, "hi". i swear it sounded like she was standing right next to me. for the last 2 weeks, when i go to bed, after turning my kindle off and rolling over, the computer light comes on and goes off without the computer fully coming out of sleep mode. but 3 nights ago? i woke up at 3 in the morning, rolled over and saw the computer come on. totally come out of sleep mode and turn on. you really have to monkey with the mouse to get that screen to come on. totally freaked me out. now tonight i was sitting in the livingroom with beans and some of the toys that i had gotten out and cleaned up for the 'cutest baby ever', started acting up. by themselves. the schoolbus ran into the wall. a bumblebee spun around and just a few minutes ago a rattle moved. oh! and everyone is in bed. and i was in the livingroom by myself. but then i heard my bedroom door open. hh is sound asleep in there. the door was shut and latched. but it opened up. i got up to see if he had woken up and needed anything. but he was still asleep. it felt like someone was standing in front of me, freaked me out enough that i caught my breath and flipped a lightswitch on. f.r.e.a.k.y. any explanations????

last week i was feeling super crappy. everything hurt. every bone and muscle ached. after a few days of this i asked beans to look and see if i had a sore on my back. guess what she found? a tick. yuck!!! i hate ticks! this one really thru me for a loop tho :P i starting feeling better later on that day and after a few days i feel back to my old self. i cant believe we have ticks out already. we will be doing checks around here from now on!!!

the other night, the girls were super duper wired and hyper and did not want to go to bed.
Mouth ~"we're too hyper to sleep!!!!!"
HH~ "Mouth, what are you eating??"
at this point her eyes get HUGE and she gets a manic grin on her face
Mouth ~ "its, its, its, its...."
Beans whispers, "candy"
Mouth ~ "ITS CANDY!!!!!"
(yes, she still has a hard time remembering names of things)
HH ~ " oh good grief, do you really think you need candy tonight Mouth???"

she ate it all, and was up most of the night.

little brother went to a friends house last night. after a night of playing video games, he came home all excited. " MOM!!!! they had this really old video game! the graphics were HORRIBLE!!! that thing was OLD."
what kind of game system was it? I asked him.
"well, it was really really old mom. nintendo something...."
oh! nintendo? gray boxy thing with plain controllers?
"oh no mom, this one must have been b4 that one. it was a nintendo 64. its super old."

wow kid. thanks for making me feel old. i remember when the 64 was the bomb.
one word.
ATARI.
it would blow his mind.
LOL!!!!

hh is shinglin' tomorrow. he will be in pain for days. little brother is going with to do clean up. he will be complaining for days. (clean up sucks)
i plan on sleeping in and doing nothing. maybe watch a movie. in my room. convince mouth to make me a pot of coffee and bribe baby sister to serve it to me in bed. big plans. ;)

i am thinking we need some nice weather around here. soon. i would really like to get these cabinets painted and installed so i can get my craft stuff out of storage. so i can make cards and work on all the projects that i see on the pinterest and that i dream of making. keyword. dream.

ok. another toy just made noise. time to jump in bed, pull the covers up and pretend nothing happened :/

g'night dudes

Things getting scary for a week, makes normal so sweet.

The fear that overcomes your whole being when you have a child that is sick, and they don't know what is wrong, that fear is unimaginable. I had that fear a couple weeks ago.

I have had this post on my mind a lot this last week, but I just couldn't make myself go back there yet. Mouth is doing better now. I think that's why I have decided I can handle this post now. but there are still tears when I go back to that fear...

Mouth had went to bed on a Wed night and Thursday morning she didn't get out of bed. She was burning up with fever, (103.8) and was complaining of a horrible headache. Mouth never complains of pain. Never. This is the girl who has had stitches without any anesthetic. This is the girl who had fractured her foot and never told me.

I brought her in to the clinic Friday morning after she started complaining that her neck was killing her and she started throwing up whenever she would move. She slept in the van with sunglasses on. She laid on a couple chairs in the waiting room and slept. She crawled onto the exam table and slept. Dr D sent her to lab to check for strep, influenza, and mono. When I was bringing her back to the exam room, she looked at me, and kinda whispered, 'mom?' and her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out. I caught her and held her up while another Dr ran to help her. It took a little bit to get her to come to. and even then she wouldn't open her eyes and her words were so hard to understand. I was terrified.

The amount of pain she was in at this point was mind boggling to me. I have never seen any of my Pack in this much pain. And for it to be Mouth? I knew this was bad.

We got her back into an exam room and they hooked her up to IVs right away. IV pain meds and anti nausea meds were pumping into her. And she still was in so much pain.

She has the uncanny ability to block out everything and go someplace else in her mind. That is how she deals with pain.(She used this coping mechanism alot during the next week.) But when she does that? It means that she is just a shell of herself. blank eyes. no smile. no twinkle. It is so scary to see her like that.

While we waited for the lab results to come back I had called HH and asked him if he could come to the clinic and wait with us. I had this fear that they would say she's fine, they couldn't find anything, and they would send her home with me. I had no clue how I would be able to get her out to the van and into the house in the condition she was in.

The labs came back good. Negative for everything they had checked for. Dr D decided a spinal tap was needed to rule out meningitis. She showed all the classic symptoms. So we went over to the hospital for a spinal tap. They tested her spinal fluid and everything was good. She was starting to perk up a tiny little bit. and she wanted to get out of the hospital and go home.

We got her into the wheelchair to bring her out to the truck and the change that overcame her was startling. She went back to looking like a ghost. dead eyes. no twinkle and no smile. she was clutching her head and trying not to cry.

back to square one.

HH and I looked at each other and had no clue what we were supposed to do. No one else was around. "are we supposed to bring her home?" I guess so? and we did. she crawled into the back of the truck and laid there the whole way home. HH had to pick her up and carry her into our bedroom and put her to bed there.

the next 2 days were hell. there is no other way to explain it.

we had a 13 yr old who needed to be carried to the bathroom, and carried back to bed. when she moved we had to have a bucket ready because she would throw up instantly. she didn't talk. she didn't cry. she just laid there.

Saturday night she was complaining of her back hurting and she was having a hard time breathing. HH carried her out to the truck and we brought her in to the local ER. the hooked her up to IVs and pumped pain meds and anti nausea meds into her. nothing helped. they found out she had had a spinal tap and decided it was a spinal headache. the anesthesiologist wasn't sure that it was a spinal headache, her symptoms hadn't changed from when we brought her in Friday morning. a blood patch was discussed and dismissed. why do another procedure needlessly when she was still complaining of the initial headaches and just crumminess?

They sent us home with orders for her to drink a LOT of fluids. that's it. HH pulled the truck into the ambulance garage and Mouth crawled into the back of the truck and laid there. all the way home. HH had to pick her up and carry her into the house and put her back to bed in our bed.

Sunday we pushed her to drink drink drink.... and she would throw up throw up throw up. HH was carrying her to the bathroom and back to bed. she begged us to put dark blankets over the windows in our room, and the slightest sound would have her curling up into a ball. and throwing up. by Sunday night she was refusing anything to drink and she hadn't eaten anything since wed night.

Monday. I asked her what she wanted to do. "mom, I can't do this anymore. you have to bring me to the hospital. I feel like I'm dying." HH picked her up and we brought her in to the ER. there was no way we were going to leave that hospital until they helped her.

We got in. they paged her Dr and he came right over. they put her on IVs again. this time it was morphine getting pumped into her. more anti nausea meds and a CT scan was ordered immediately. Dr D said if he had know she was still in pain Friday night, he would have admitted her then. the CT scan came back with every sinus cavity plugged, but no masses or anything abnormal.

I think that was the first time I was able to breath since Friday. When I found out there was nothing evil growing in her head. I had had this overpowering fear that they would find something wrong. I was terrified that they were going to find cancer. SO when Dr D came back and said the CT scan was clear except for the massive sinus infection, I cried. Hard. and Mouth looked at me and said, "mom, I'm gonna be ok. my head just hurts really bad." and of course I turned into a blubbering fool.

Dr D admitted her immediately. She was in the hospital for 4 days. They had so many meds pumping into her, and morphine and anti nausea stuff . By Wednesday afternoon she was able to come off the morphine. She could lay in bed without being in unbearable pain. the only hurdle we still had was when she would sit up or stand up the pain in her head would be overpowering and she would start throwing up and she would have to lay down right away. We decided a blood patch was in order, if that didn't take care of the pain they would have to do surgery to see if they could unplug her sinuses to see if that was the reason for the pain. We did the blood patch Wed night. Later that night she sat up in her bed. She didn't throw up. She only gave us a half grin. but her eyes were sparkling. We finally got to see our girl again. it had been a week.

She ate food for the first time in 7 days and kept it down. It was only a few bites of a sandwich. but I was cheering inside :) She fell asleep that night and slept. really slept. woke up Thursday morning and wanted to go home. Dr D was smart and held off till his lunch break to come check on her. He wanted to make sure she could get up and walk around without throwing up and without the pain coming back. She was weak. very weak. we walked down the hall to the lounge and she was exhausted. but she didn't throw up and she was no longer in pain.

We got home Thursday afternoon. She slept in her own night that bed. HH and I were back in the same bed. The Pack were all home. Everything was back to how it should be. Life was good again.

We have noticed a few little things with Mouth. She forgets things easily. She has a hard time coming up the right word for things sometimes. Her appetite still isnt the best. But little things like that? I can handle those things. I have my girl back.

Last Saturday this was my FB status: "french toast, all my kids eating breakfast together, and Mouth in the middle of it all :) things getting scary for a week, makes normal so sweet"

I don't think I can say it any better than that.

Things I love:

putting on a new pair of jeans, realizing I should have got them 2 sizes smaller :)

especially when I bought them 2 sizes smaller from what I have been wearing!!!

birthdays.... for my Pack ;)

snowy photo shoots

kids wearing mismatched bright colors for snowy photo shoots

smiley baby girls

saltwater and sugar sand

answered prayer, especially when its another teen accepting Jesus as Saviour!!!

being called "mom" by children whom I did not give birth to :)

last count, I am "MOM!!" to 17 loveable kids.

hearing, "ya know what? I fricken love ya!" and getting a hug.

I fricken love you too, CB ;)

snow days. when HH is home.

migraine = hate!!!!

snow = hate!!!!

snow + migraine + HH home = bearable :)
*Amazing how God takes care of His children, isnt it?

country music in the morning

purple and red skittles

grape popsicles

birthday suppers

sunglasses

coffee. black. sweet nectar.... *sigh

yarn ball fights and silly face wars

My Pack :)

Handsome Hubby. love that man :)

locks on bedroom doors! LOL

Snow Day!!!!

I hate snow.

I'm just gonna get that out in the open right away.

But my Pack does not hate snow.

Especially when it means a snow day for all of their friends.

And then we end up with 8, 10, 15 kids hanging out at our house.

they can't get to school but they can find a way to get to our house...

hmmmmm.....

we have snowboards lined up on the deck

dripping boots all over the porch

(I hate walking thru puddles to get to the bathroom)

coats and bibs hung on every available surface

woodstove pumping out heat trying to dry everything

wet mittens and hats everywhere.

winter has arrived

:P

and you know what I am doing?

I am holed up in my room

wearing sunglasses

burying my head

waiting for this darn headache to go away

HH just put heavy beach towels up to cover the windows.

and for me? covering up light?

yeah.

you know its gotta be bad when I beg him to block out the light.

3 days of pain is not good.

time to get this figured out I think.

Manic Mondays

Its Monday.

I don't think I like Mondays.

Especially when the next day we are (maybe) supposed to get snow.

I am not a snow type of girl.

I am not a cold type of girl either.

I am more of a sunshine, and warmth, and ocean, beaches and sand type of girl.

I miss the smell of the ocean.

hmmmmmmmm...

ok.

enough with dreaming about things that I cannot have....

update on the whole,

"doorknob with a lock on the bedroom door" thing...

it is

A.MAZ.ING.

yes.

it

is.

I locked my children out of my room today.

just because I could

:)

And they were confused.

and they stood and rattled the doorknob

and whined.

And I smiled :)

How did I make it thru the last 16 yrs???

Crazy!

*Random Topic Change*

Mouth informed me that,

"If I won $10,000,

I would buy shoes.

Lots and lots

of shoes.

A girl after my own heart :)

you would never know that I love shoes.

no.

you would not.

not if you looked in my closet.

I have 3 pairs of shoes.

3

and 1 pair of work boots.

that's it.

its sad.

sometimes I sit

and I pout.

and I feel sorry for myself

and my obvious lack of shoes.

:(

*Random Topic Change*

I saw Mouths YG teacher last week.

She was wearing a pair of jeans.

COVERED in Sharpie marker.

they looked very cool

and bright

and colorful.

And I fully expect to see Mouth wearing

a pair of jeans covered in Sharpie marker.

any day now.

So,

Thank You, Mouth's YG teacher.

Thank You.

*Random Topic Change*

When I was a kid,

at the lake where we spent our summers camping,

there was a statue of a naked lady.

(and I will say it, she has a great body, she must do yoga)

and from the road,

when we would ride bike by,

we would giggle and exclaim,

"Its the naked butt lady!!!"

cuz all we could see was her naked butt from the road.

I do recall one time when,

on a dare,

I rode bike thru the circle drive.

she was naked from the front too.

just sayin'

Well, down the road,

from where we live with our Pack,

there is statue of a naked FAT lady.

throwing a hula hoop in the air.

and she looks VERY happy to be throwing a hula hoop

in the air whilst she is running around naked.

I giggle every time I drive by and see that naked little fat lady.

Throwing a hula hoop in the air.

:)

HH, you know, the one who NEVER EVER reads my blog?

Yeah. He's sitting next to me

looking over my shoulder

as I am writing this post.

and he is making fun of me

cuz he thinks I'm weird.

"You're cracked"

were his exact words.

hmmmmmmmm....

I think its time to wrap this one up.

Later dudes.

Given enough sleep, I'm pretty sure I could rule the world ;)

8 hrs of sleep. In one night. Without waking up. Its amazing. Really, truelly, A.MAZ.ING. :)

Then waking up to sunshine on my face.

Could this morning get any better????

Lets see...

Mouth made me coffee.

Like only Mouth can.

She makes THE BEST coffee :)

I kind of love her.

Alot.

And then, the MOST amazing man in the world decided to make breakfast :)

And its not just a "throw some bread in the toaster" kind of breakfast.

nope.
its a "pancakes, and eggs and sausage and hashbrowns" kind of breakfast :)

Cuz he's amazing like that.

And I love him.

A. LOT.

How did I get so lucky??

Oh, and HH bought a new doorknob for the bedroom door.

It has a lock on it.

How did we get thru 16 yrs of marriage without a lock on our bedroom door you may ask?

I don't know.

I seriously don't know.

But I think I am going to like this "lock on the bedroom door" thing.

You know why?

In the last 10 minutes I have had 4 children in my room,

one of them isnt even my child.

they think that my bed is the most comfy bed in the house.

I have to agree.

it is.

But that does not mean I want 4 children laying (lying?) on my bed whilst I am blogging.

how did you like that?

I used 'whilst' in a sentence.

and I really don't care if I used it properly.

it made me smile.

Especially when one of those children is not even mine.

Its awkward.

and weird.

And I have not even been up to get dressed yet.

So it was very awkward.

And me,

in my normal Shanan fashion,

pointed it out.

Bluntly.

"yeah, get off my bed.

and out of my room.

cuz this is just weird.

and awkward."

And he blushed and

they all left.

I giggled.

Did I mention that I am watching a movie?

Whilst laying (lying?) in bed.

and blogging?

I am.

because I folded on the whole,

"we will never have a tv in the bedroom" thing.

Bedrooms are not made for watching tv.

Bedrooms are for sleeping.

and sex.

(the movie just ended. I hated the ending.)

but after 16 yrs of marriage,

and 5, (or 6, or 7, or 10) children,

lets face it.

our bedroom is not just for sleeping.

and sex.

Its a place to try to get away from the 5, (or 6, or 7, or 12) children.

So a tv was needed.

and a door knob.

with a lock.

I just kicked 2 more children out of my room.

HH will be putting that new knob on the door.

today.

:)

mmmmmmm.....

breakfast is ready :)

and it smells amazing.

later, dudes :)

A post of randomness

Its one of those nights. again. my mind is just spinning. nothing really going on up there, just alot of randomness. and its always fun to post a bunch of randomness. cuz then I can pretend I am witty and funny and amusing ;)

did you know that the word 'random' looks, well, random? well. at 2 am it does. who comes up with these words? some words just make no sense. especially at 2 in the moring when you look at a word and think to yourself, "that really is a word right? I mean, I didn't just make it up did I"? no one else does that? oh. ok then.

I decided to shave my legs tongiht, cuz I'm not tired, and I love the feeling of clean shaven legs on clean sheets, but then I remembered that tomorrow is sheet washing day and that HH is sound asleep on said sheets, cuz he sleeps at night, like a normal person, while I am up doing laundry, doing dishes, making his lunch, pinning on pinterest,

(do you know what pinterest is? you DON"T??? google it. it will blow your mind, and you will become hooked and you will waste many countless hours looking at what other people have pinned and you will give yourself unattainable hopes and dreams of becoming crafty like every other woman in the world, then you will feel like a gigantic failure when you remember you are just not really crafty, and you should stick to reading books and picking up peoples messes, cuz that is what you are truly good at.)

*sorry. rabbit trail. or rabbit hole? hmmmm.....

ok, back to "while I am up...." .... shaving my legs, reading books, and I cannot for the life of me figure out how I could sneak those sheets out from under him while he is lying, (laying?) on said sheets, so I can get them washed so when I do get tired enought to sleep I will have clean sheets to sleep on with my cleanly shaven legs.

anyhoo... I decided to shave my legs, and of course I cannot find a decent razor of my own, because my girls steal my razors cuz they leave theirs in the shower and then theirs get rusty and icky so they wont use them, so they use mine, and leave mine in the shower, and then mine gets rusty and icky, so then I won't use it either. so you know what I do? I steal one of HHs razors ;) he gets those nice fancy razors with replacement blades cuz he shaves his head every week since the wetjet incident of 2010, (when a wet jet blew up in his face and his hair started on fire and his eyebrows and eyelashes singed off his face and he had an awesome scary looking face for about a month cuz of the burns). yeah. he buys those fancy blades. so I sneak a fresh one, shave my legs, then dry it off and sneak it back in and put his blade back on the handle then put it back in the cabinet all while he is sound asleep. none the wiser ;)

does this make any sense? I'm thinking it doesn't. but really? what does make sense at 2 in the morning?

popsicles. did you know you can get ones that are made with real fruit juice? and they taste super yummy. and I can convince myself that 1 popsicle = 1 serving of fruit. so, say, its 2 in the morning, and I am bored and my throat hurts, and I really want a popsicle? wham! 1 popsicle.1 serving of fruit. WINNING!!! 3 popsicles you say??? well. that is 3 servings of fruit, silly!!! ;) and now you really want to know the truth? the only reason I like popsicles is because they are naughty. try it eat a popsicle and not make it look 'dirty'. try it. you can thank me after you remove all of the popsicles from of your freezer and ban them from your home from now until eternity. ;)

did you know that my filter is pretty much non existant at 2 in the morning? well. you do now.

well, the laundry is calling me. and I am thinking muffins for breakfast is sounding really good. sooooo.... later dudes!!!

A Good Place

Ever have that feeling when you just KNOW that you are in a good place? Things may not always be easy. Relationships may not be perfect. Children are learning lessons, some of them hard lessons. And yet you just KNOW that you are in a good place in your life? Yep. That's how I have been feeling the last couple weeks.

I have an amazing, godly husband who loves us more than words can say. Seeing his heart for his girls brings tears to my eyes. Knowing he wants what is best for them, how he wants to protect their hearts and guide them thru the rocky path of teenage life, it makes me fall in love with him even more.

Seeing the love he has for the teenagers that come thru our door, (and sometimes it seems they will never leave) knowing he is the only male influence some of these kids have in their lives, and seeing him rise to the responsibility, it makes my heart happy.

Watching him guide our only son, trying to raise him up to be a man of courage. A man that will be used greatly by God. Seeing him struggle to walk that line between being tough enough on our boy, but yet be gentle and loving and kind also. It makes my heart happy to see them both growing to be the men God wants them to be.

We are in a very good place right now. A place that our family has not been in for a very long time. It makes my heart happy.

10 on Tuesday...

yep, no imagination. kinda stretching here for a title ;) but I can go with this. I think.

1) loves it when, watching a movie, and a very cool classic car comes on screen, my girls freak out. "OOOHHHHHH!!!! NICE car!!!!!" lol! they are my girls. no denying it ;)

2) I have the Pack convinced that we need another baby. or 2. or 3 ;) not thinking HH will agree, but we can work on him.

3) frosting fights before bed are a LOT of fun :) its not fun falling asleep cuddled up to HH when he smells like frosting. yuck.

4) still working on the hot tub thing. pretty much convinced we need to have one. especially when HH comes home and he's hurting so bad. a soak in a hot tub would be just the thing for him ;)

5) everytime Blue Eyes walks thru the livingroom, she has a different shirt on. we are keeping track. its the 4th shirt so far this afternoon.

6) I am kinda falling in love with this little peanut that I get to watch 4 days a week :) I am not good at sharing her with the Pack. they arent very happy with me about that. they will have to get over it. I never have been good at sharing.

7) woke up this morning with the WORST headache ever. at least the worst headache that I've had in a long time. it was horrible. it was a "bury your head under the covers, pray you don't throw up, eyes pounding out of your head, I just want to cry" headache. I hate those. especially when you wake up with it. and it won't go away.

8) after a ton of ibuprofen and tylenol and a pot of coffee, it finally eased. not gone, but at least its bearable. :P

9) I have no clue what to make for supper. anyone else ever have this problem? I get sick and tired of the same old stuff. but I have a hard time thinking outside of the box sometimes. at least when it comes to meals. everything else? yeah, I'm pretty much an "out of the box" type of thinker ;)

10) thinking I may have to run to the big town tonight and look for hinges for a cabinet door. I have already boughten 2 sets of hinges for this cabinet door. neither of them were right. but it gives me an excuse to get out and do something. so I'm not complaining ;)

ok. I did it. kinda. ok. lets be honest, that was the most boring excuse for a blog post that I have ever done. :P remember the worst headache ever? yeah. I'm gonna blame it on that. my brain feels scrambled at this point. so I'm going to just forget about trying to make it sound like I have an interesting life this week. so I'm gonna go with boring.

"A very boring 10 on Tuesday" thats should be my title. ;)

Just a bunch of nonsensical thoughts.

See, that sounds much more mature than, "just a bunch of random thoughts". Ok, maybe not more mature. more interesting? yeah. I'll go with interesting. I like to pretend that I'm an interesting person. With a life. and friends. Notice the word 'pretend'? yeah. I think I am pretty much pretending.

I wanted to go out the other night. Maybe sit at a place to eat and hang out. HH wanted to stay home and watch a tv program and then catch the news b4 he went to bed. So, a tv program and news are more interesting than me. yeah. *tear*

So Beans takes pity on me and we head to the big town to sit at a place to eat and hang out. And we ask another person if they want to come hang out. Hm. nope. that darn news is very interesting to ppl lately. More interesting than me. yeah. *tear*

SO then I'm thinking maybe I'm not that fun of a girl. and thats totally not acceptable at all. cuz I have always been a VERY fun girl. And now I'm thinking ppl think I am too old to be fun anymore? or maybe the 'married with 5 kids' scares ppl a little bit. hm. *tear*

Oh, one good thing happened when Beans and I went out and hung out at a place to eat for 2 hrs. I was asked if Beans and I were SISTERS!!!! Oh. Be still my heart. I think I kinda sorta love that person. And I should find out where they live and make them cookies or something. But maybe that would seem kinda stockerish. So that probably wouldn't be such a good idea. Yeah. That might be kinda sorta weird. (did you know the rule 'i before e except after c' does not always apply? yeah. try teaching this stuff. yuck.) So. no cookies for the amazingly awesome person that I may just be a little in love with for calling Beans and I sisters. bummer for them. I make some amazingly awesome cookies ;)

I'm in another one of those moods. When my brain is going about 100 mph. and nothing makes sense. and I can't sleep. cuz my brain is going about 100 mph. and then I have no appetite (a good thing :) but the less and I sleep and the less I eat the more crazy my mind goes. Poor HH. Its fun for the first few nights. then he's ready to tranq me.

I know tranq is not spelt right. But I really did not want to write out 'tranquilize' , but now spell check is telling me that tranq is not a word and its bugging me. so, 'tranq' is my word for 'tranquilize'. and I probably will never ever have to use that word again. anywho.

And did you know that even when you are trying to be careful and you specifically ask the server if there are any sort of nuts in the dessert that Beans wanted and my plan was just to steal a couple bites of, and they tell you no, there are NO NUTS, do not believe them. they don't know anything. cuz chances are its from a mix that was made in a plant that had nuts on the equipment or they used the same knife to cut a dessert with nuts that they used to cut your dessert. its bad. very bad. cuz then you drink every bit of liquid thats on the table. like 5 gallons of diet pepsi and water and you chew all the ice that in the glasses. anything to make the swelling go down.

Then you decide to go out of town and try to get yourselves lost. and it works amazingly well. seriously, hopelessly lost. with no bathroom in sight. bad idea. very bad idea. but it was a fun night ;)

And I want a hot tub. I really really want a hot tub. just throwing that in there. cuz hot tubs have endless possibilities. and. yeah. I'll stop there.

Anyone know what they say about chewing ice? no? ok. well I'll leave it at that.

Hopefully my brain gets off the "amped" speed and gets back to normal soon. or maybe not. it is kinda fun to be thinking at 100 mph.

A Daydream Believer

Does everyone have a bucket list? those things that we dream of doing? some of them may be way out of our reach. some may be so simple but we just don't take the time to do them. You can tell the kind of mood I am in by what I am dreaming about.

Today I am dreaming of a cross country road trip on the back of a motorcycle.
blue skies and water as far as the eye can see.
the smell of salt water in the air.
A new tattoo. on my wrist.
surfboards and suntans. *not gotten by lying around!! but by hiking, swimming, surfing, LIVING!!!*

I dream of spur of the moment movie dates with old friends. And sitting at perkins afterwards and remembering when we were young and dumb. and wishing we could go back

Sometimes I dream of things past. lovely memories that I wish I could go back to...

I dream of getting into my first car and tearing around those gravel roads we terrorized as teens. the car that I could start without the key. the car that made my eyes sparkle. the car that only sat 4 but we could pack at least 7 into ;) timberlake road.

I dream of those carefree days at the lake every summer.
falling asleep by the campfire.
having the ongoing, " put down the tents in the middle of the night" wars with the boys.
tubing behind the boats.
football at lonetree!!!!
working at the campground store and getting paid with hrs on the jet skis :)
night games at the campground (and ALWAYS ending up covered in band aids cuz I was such a klutz).
summer crushes.
barefeet all the time.
that lovely feeling of sunburn and sore muscles.
getting back from volleyball camp and sleeping for 3 days straight, in the sun, on a lawn chair, wrapped in a big white comfy blanket :)
pounce!!! (Amy! Do you remember how to play??? )
the theme song from Robin Hood being whistled, from the shelter on the hill, and knowing who it was. sneaking away to the beach to hang out. :)
riding bike to spicer and swimming in our clothes.
lifeguards. lol!

I dream of snowmobile trips up north.
stopping at little cafes or inns for hot cocoa.
winter campfires on the ice.
the smell of snowmobile exhaust in the shop when we were getting ready to go. I still love the smell of snowmobile exhaust. :)


I watch Beans as she stands on chairs and dances and laughs. I listen to Mouth and her off the wall thoughts. I watch my Blue Eyed dreamer as she flits from one thing to another. Little Brother as he is always making stuff, and loves to be building forts and weapons. Baby Sister as she tries so hard to fit in with her older sisters. I see myself in all of them.

My uncle stated that its good to remember those days, when we didn't have dreams, we had possibilities. So perfect. We did have possibilities. And it was amazing.

Amped

Its kind of getting old. Feeling like my brain is going 100 mph is getting old. its giving me a headache. a big headache. not the constant headache I always have. this is something different all together. and my neck hurt and my shoulder hurts. and I can't sleep. cuz my brain never shuts off. urgh!!!!
any suggestions? none? really?
well you guys are no help at all! ;)
But I did get a lot done today. yay me!
I guess that's one good thing to say for being amped.
But I think The Pack is getting concerned. and so is HH.
Mainly cuz I NEVER shut up and my filter, yeah, that dang filter that I fight all the time, its been off for the last few days. So its been, "Watch out! Shanan will say ANYTHING!!!! around here".
Even worse than usual.
Mouth goes with it.
Beans rolls her eyes.
Blue Eyes just shakes her head
and Little Brother and Baby Sister?
they steer clear.
Cuz everyone knows having a crazy mom is just plain embarrassing ;)
I pretend that I'm that cool mom that everyone wishes they had. But I think I'm just fooling myself.
I think crazy would be a more apt word to use in this situation.
yep.
crazy it is.

maybe tomorrow I will wake up and feel melloooowwww.
who am I kidding?
I am not very often considered mellow.
all I can say is that I hope that, when your brain feels like its going 100 mph, your actually
burning calories as if your whole body was going 100mph.
But that's just wishful thinking I think ;)

K. goodnight. maybe "mellow Shanan with the filter" will be back tomorrow. guess we will have to see